Handicap Hell?

Holy shit it's sooo complicated… all the stupid formulas..

Ref: http://www.usga.org/playing/handicaps/manual/manual.html

First off, I had to learn what ESC is so I can post my score…  (Go to section 4-3), wtf is an ESC? It was confusing so I spent about 10 minutes re-reading it slowly.

Then it referenced a Course Handicap number which I don't have, so I had to research that (Section 10-4)

Then I had to find my Handicap Index since I'm a new player it's the max of 36.4 (Read Section 4-3 again)
"A player without an established Handicap Index must use the maximum Handicap Index of 36.4 for men, or 40.4 for women, converted to a Course Handicap, to determine a maximum ESC number."

So then I found the slope rating for Jefferson gc was 116, do I did the formula (See Section 10-4) which is (Handicap Index * Slope Rating) / 113 which for me is:

36.4 * 116 / 113 = 37.36 (Round down to 37)

Then I look at the fucking ESC table found in section 4-3 to find my maximum number on any hole (which happens to be 9) which in returns means that my max score on a par 4 is +5 (which I don't get), on a par 5 is +4 (which I don't get)… which pretty much means I did all of the above for NOTHING!

So in the end I just posted my regular freaking score… argh!!

I won't find out my handicap till tomorrow when the golf club I signed up with refreshes all handicap indexes..